How we perceive ourselves is one of the most crucial influencing factors of fulfilment. Having a strong sense of who you are is a key indicator of happiness. In other words, those who feel good about themselves do better in life, compared to those who have a poor opinion of themselves. Sadly, life events will impact your self-concept. Also referred to as self-respect or self-worth, poor self-esteem is said to affect up to 85% of adolescents and adults.


Too often people outsource self-esteem by relying on positive reinforcement from others in order to feel good. In today’s world of social media saturation, we are literally throwing ourselves to the wolves if we don’t learn how to internally generate self-love. We typically find that those who have low self-esteem are very critical of their self-concept. Self-concept refers to the identity we create for ourselves based on the beliefs we hold about who we are and from the responses we receive from others. When we rely on outsourcing our self-worth from others such as in the amount of likes we get on social media, or the number of friends we have, our self-concept is then predominantly a reflection of the reactions we receive from others. Relying on others’ opinions to determine your self-worth is a slippery slope. It is in our human nature to be competitive and desire to feel superior whether it be on a conscious or subconscious level. It is also evident that online, when you’re behind a screen where you don’t have to address someone face-to-face, that people can say things that they normally wouldn’t in-person as it would be too blunt, not true, or quite frankly rude. That is why it is important that we develop our self-esteem around the unique amazing qualities that we possess, rather than relying on others’ opinions and perceptions.

One method that can help centre ourselves and truly allow us to see our unique value is through bullet pointing our amazing qualities. It is so easy to be critical of ourselves and not acknowledge what we have to offer. Whether you’re working full-time, at stay-at-home mother, a student, or retired, there are so many qualities that we often dismiss that brings joy and happiness to others and ourselves. By writing these qualities down, it allows you to disconnect from the opinions of others and the self-concept we’ve created, and truly see the unique value you bring to this world.

This topic I hold dear to my heart as I know how strong self-esteem facilitates a better future. If you don’t have a clear sense of who you are, what you value, and where you want to be then start the journey today to becoming your finest self and your own best friend.


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